Getting a Pilot's Liscense
by PeechTao
Summary: Anakin Receives his pilot's licsence after paying a terrible price. Includes speeder race, crazy instructers, crashing into the senate, and Mace's boxers. Very funny, you should read it. Please review, it's kind to do!


_I own nothing but the premise of my story, if i owned Star Wars, Qui-Gon would still be alive. Grr . . ._

**Getting His Licence**

Anakin, (18years old) shuffled his feet and tugged at his tunic again. Today he was taking his pilot's licence test and his nerves were through the roof.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan says, staring at his panicked padawan. The boy suddenly jumped at the sound of his name which sent Obi-Wan crashing against the wall of the turbo lift and reaching for his lightsabor hilt. They both gave a sort of uneasy laugh after a moment of recovery. "You seem tense." he finished stating.

"Of course not master," Anakin Skywalker replies, "I have perfect confidence the test will go just as planned and I will pass."

"Well good."

A partial silence fell between the two as the lift continued downward.

"Have you studied . . ."The master was beginning before Anakin gave another surprised jolt. "Sweet suns, padawan! Calm yourself down before you give me a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry, master," Anakin replies annoyed, "Yes, I have studied vigorously."

"Well try to relax at least a little. You're worrying too much and that will affect your grade." He sighed. "You have been piloting all your life, I don't see why your so nervous."

Anakin tried to smile. At least his driving instructor was the sweet, meek, Gan Corina. Obi-Wan was great friends with her ever since a mission on Dloc Cont Prime many years back. This eased his spirit some until they stepped onto the landing dock to find an eight-foot, six inch, four hundred pound Twilek(sp) waiting for him. The padawan froze in his steps, then with a stroke of genius, leapt back into the turbo lift. "Ah! Wrong level, wrong level!" He jabbed random port numbers to shoot himself to a different part of the Temple, but Obi-Wan swiftly snatched him out of the lift. The doors snapped shut and the escape rout disappeared.

"Try to be cordial." Obi-Wan says, walking over to the Twilek.

"Cordial? Master his arms are bigger than my head."

"Good analogy, they have more brains than you also."

"Master, this is not funny. I am going to die!"

"Not before me, my very young padawan." Anakin gave him a questioning look and Obi-Wan explained, "I'll laugh myself to death before he's able to grab you."

Skywalker grumbled bitterly under his breath as the instructor approached.

"Your other instructor was tied up today, so I'll be assessing you test." He says in a surprisingly quiet and gentle voice.

"Tied up in a closet i bet." Anakin grumbles.

Obi-Wan jabbed him in the side with his lightsabor hilt. "We are gracious for you taking time to replace her," he bowed his head then turned to introduce Anakin. "This is my apprentice, Anakin Skywalker. He's a little bit tense about taking the test." Anakin shot him a look of betrayal but the master merely smiled back, enjoying every minute of it.

"Don't be troubled, young Anakin, I am sure you will do just fine." He put a hand on the teen's shoulder and shook him so firmly Anakin was sure his brain cells were dying. Still holding on, the instructor span him around and pushed him toward the transport.

In a last ditch effort to save himself, Anakin looked back and pleaded with his master. "All right, i put the geka lizard in you bed the other night, just please call off the ogre!"

Obi-Wan just smiled and gave a wave. "Good luck, my dearest padawan! Have a good trip!"

As he was waving a small figure came up beside him. "Dear Kenobi, what are you waving at?"

"Anakin's off to his pilot's test, Gan." Kenobi looked down. "Gan? What are you doing here?"

"I'm testing Anakin." she replies in confusion.

"But he just, you were, . . . who was that Twilek?"

"I honestly do not know."

* * *

Anakin white knuckled the steering wheel, trying to keep the ship aloft. The fat instructor was weighing down half the ship, making it incredibly difficult to keep straight and aloft. He managed to get the ship into the air and was ready to merge into traffic when a half crazed sounding voice boomed, "Turn, NOW!"

Anakin nearly took out three air cars to comply with the instructor's wishes. "Merge, there!" he hollered again, his voice raking against Anakin's bones.

The poor teen looked at the crazed instructor, "That's the wrong lane . . ."

The Twilek looked down at him, his long tendrils whipping around. One of his eyes was bulging out of its socket and twitching like the leg of a dead bug. Suddenly Anakin felt so very small. "Now." he growls lowly, then with a burst of wild laughter he opened the engine foils and they rocketed across the sky.

Anakin struggled to level the ship, all the while they were rebounding off of ships and buildings. At one point they crashed into the side of the Senate! The crazy Master recognized someone inside and kicked the Senate window through. "Master Windu!" he shouts with a welcoming wave, "Anakin Skywalker is learning how to fly!" At this point he slides his seat back to expose the pale padawan.

Master Windu recognized the other Master immediately. "Len Keeys? Is that you?"

"Hello!" he waved, grabbing Anakin in a rough head lock. "Little rascal, isn't he? Bye now." He hit the accelerator again.

In a split second decision, Mace does and Obi-Wan dive (episode 2 people) out the window and clung tightly to the bumper of the air car.

Master Ki-Adi-Mundi exchanged a look with Supreme Chancellor Palpantine, whom Ki and Mace had been in meeting with.

"Len Keeys?" Palpantine asks.

"He was ejected from the Order a few years ago," he looked out the window, "The man is a total loo-loo."

* * *

"Master Windu, you're coming with us?" Len called back to the Councilor.

Anakin looked and saw Mace dig his lightsabor into the bumper to get a firmer hold. Now Skywalker was compensating fo a heavy back end and a lunatic, fat Twilek!

"Turn off the accelerator." Mace yells to him.

"Oh sure!" Len answers, putting it to the max before breaking the handle completely off and chucking it and the master's bald head. "There you go!"

The metal rod bounced off his head. Angered now, he started climbing toward the cockpit.

Anakin was working furiously to try and level the ship, slow it down, and not kill anyone in the process. Windu reached the cockpit and was ready to cut the areas top off when Len grabbed the controls again and sent the into a nose dive.

"Anakin!" Mace yells angrily.

Len licked his fingers and fashioned Anakin's hair like a mohawk. He laughed hysterically. He then looked back to see Mace squished against the window. "Hey, I can see snot up his nose!" The Twilek shattered the window and the councilor fell in, right on top of the control panel.

"Master Windu, your on the controls." Anakin yells above the chaos of alarm sounds.

"You don't think I know that? I have a shifter poking me in the . . ."

"Land Ho! Len calls over the two.

"The ground was quick approaching as Anakin hit an emergency break finely and sent the Master through the windshield with Len beside him. The ship was a completely vertical just meters above the ground. Len Keeys Takes Windu in a head lock, squeezing him into near unconsciousness as Mace's lightsabor hits the ground. He coughs and gasps for air.

Anakin leaps upon them, tackling them to the ground. He reaches Mace first. "Master Windu? Master Windu are you all right?"

"What in a Sith's mind were you doing?" Mace coughed out, "Joy riding with a madman?"

"I'm sorry, sir, he was supposed to be my driving instructor."

Mace looked at him. "What kind of half baked story is that?"

Suddenly a pair of grappling lines found themselves tangling around the master and padawan's legs. Keeys smiled from the cockpit where he tied down the lines and shooting back towards the Temple, towing Mace and Anakin behind him.

"You took your eyes off him?" Mace says, angrier than ever.

"Me? I tried to save you. Next time I'll just let you strangle!"

"Fine! Then I won't have to be buried in paper work for eight hours sorting this mess out when we're finished!"

Skywalker looked at him. "We're being towed behind a ship flown by a madman and you worry about paper work?"

"I ran out of ideas all right? I did just fly through three bloody windows you know! Your turn Skywalker."

"Stop yelling at me, you decided to jump through that first one!"

"If your implying this is all my fault, I am cutting your cord and letting you land before this ship does!"

Anakin smiled. He finely had the upper hand. "You seem to forget, I'm the only one with a lightsabor."

Mace glared at him. "You evil padawan." He looked forward to find they were on a head on collision with a billboard advertising the latest gentlemen's club. They screamed in unison before crashing into neon lights flashing 'Girls, Girls, Girls'.

Len Keeys on the other hand was having a splendid time. He dipped and dove, turned this way and that before turning on the radio to blast the latest boy band music.

Mace cursed wickedly as a huge freighter crossed their path ready to land. Keeys piloted down wards, twisted, then came up on the other side. Mace and Anakin, however, hit the side of the freighter, were drug across the loading platform, and were soaked as the freighter expelled its waste canister. In the midst of this, Mace lost his shirt and quite an embarrassing rip was in Anakin's pants. Mace looked over and laughed. "You still wear poka dotted boxers!" he laughed some more.

"I bet your wearing teddy bears!" Anakin shoots back., "and besides, you look like someone strapped a set of squirrels to your chest! So that's where all your head hair went off to."

"Shut up, who told you about my underwear? It was Yoda wasn't it, the stupid troll!"

Anakin gave him a wry look, "Master Windu, mind your manners."

"Home ward bound!" Len yells to them.

The two bickering Jedi looked to see they were headed right into the Council Room! They screamed again as they crashed, landing in a smelly heap in the center of the room. The cords that tied them to the runaway craft thankfully snapped upon entry.

Adi Gallia stood instantly as a horrid stench wafted her way. "Stars and galaxies, what in the worlds have you been rolling in?"

The two stood instantly, trying to retain what little dignity they thought might exist.

"Sorry to have interrupted you. We will be leaving now to wash up, and cry." Anakin says. They bow in unison, perfectly red faced, and hurried out, there boots slushing from the indescribable fluids within them.

* * *

Mace and Anakin sat in the calming room of the Head Councilor's quarters. Both were towel clad and shared a bowl of popcorn that sat between them. The HoloNet News was on as Len Keeys continued to lead a crazy chase across half of Coruscant.

"So how did your drivers photo turn out." Mace asked.

Anakin grumbled some choice words in Hutteese(sp) but handed it over. The poor photo was cockeyed to one side, and a rather large piece of waste was stuck in his mohawk formed hair. Mace erupted into bellows of laughter.

"Obi-Wan made me take it for punishment." he says, snatching it back. "As if prancing around in my underwear isn't bad enough ."

"Poka dots." Mace whispered laughing even more, eventually he fell on the floor and held his sides.

Anakin smiles mischievously. Mace still had no idea that while he was in the shower, Anakin snuck into his room, stole a pair of teddy bear boxers, and used to Force to strap them to the spire above the Council room.

Just when he began relishing in the victory, the HoloNet cameras focused on Len passing by the Temple. He grabbed something and began frying off, waving it across the sky. The cameras zoomed in on the foreign object and found it to be the rogue boxers Anakin had planted. Mace sat up and looked at them in horror before glaring evilly at the boy. "I'm going to kill you, so run now, boy!"

Skywalker slapped a hand to his forehead. "This day really sucked!"

* * *

so how did you like it, Review please people! 


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